jesus' favorite

resolution

my friend said her new years resolution was to start typing emails using caps and punctuation fuck that i said who has time for that and she said that she feels like it means your dumb and i said who the fuck cares if it seems like youre dumb youre only dumb if you think youre dumb and she agreed but said she was gonna still try to do it and then the other ladies at our fancy dinner chimed in cuz we were celebrating our collective birthdays and a couple of us just shot some commericals but anyway we got into a heated debate about that stuff i stand by what i said i mean periods and commas and quotes and all that are a must but caps and shit no thanks unless its a business email than fine but even still if its an easy breezy business email then no but real business then yes although i will attest to being a horrible speller so thats a whole other topic that you must spell check shit unless its just friend IM chat but if its business IM chat then yes but then true you get lazy anyway i am more just talking about the caps and punctuation then we ordered more wine what do you all think of that

ice breaker

Breaking the Ice for Travel, originally uploaded by bryancrump.

Dear Blog,
It’s been awhile since we chatted. Consistently chatted. A number of things have been running through my head to write about, but somehow I perfectioned my way out of writing ‘em. So let’s just break the ice with saying hi.

So...Hi! How are ya? Good. Good. I’m good. How was your new year? Oh yeah? Cool. Mine was quiet but fun. Cool!


So.


Yeah.


Awesome.



I wish we were drinking, blog. This would be so much easier.


Um. Let’s see. I had a birthday. It was super fun. Because it’s so close to the holidays it was always considered a ‘wash’ in my family (direct quote) regardless, I celebrated well. My sweet husband made a grand deal of it.

Uh. I’ve been busy. Working a lot. Writing. Doing some shows at the Groundlings. Hanging out.

Uh. My 5 year old god son slaughtered me in most every Wii sports game. He insisted I buy one to practice. I'll get right on that.

Uh. I worked out next to John Mayer last week while one of his songs came on my shuffle. That’s kinda cool. Not that John Mayer is on my shuffle, but that I was working out next to him WHEN it came on my shuffle. I mean, I don’t have his full albums or anything, it was from a live acoustic compilation, ‘cuz he’s not really my style---not that there is anything wrong with him he is perfectly fine and cute---but that I wouldn’t normally listen to him or say I’m a John Mayer fan. Like I wouldn’t go see him in concert. But I don’t hate him or think ill will of him. He’s just like a singer guy. Like Train. That band Train. Like maybe I had one of their songs on my shuffle, but I wouldn’t totally delete it but probably wouldn’t go out of my way to listen to it. But if I was working out next to Train, I might go,' Oh, that’s the lead singer of Train' if I could recognize him. I'm not sure I would. I may think it was the lead singer from that group that sang that song..'I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend'---Jumper! That song Jumper? Who sang that? I can't remember...anyway...yeah. You get it.

Uh, I’m trying to learn to meditate. A guru taught me to just start by counting your breath. One breath. Two breath. ‘If you’re mind wanders, just gently go back to your breath.’ I got to 34 yesterday before starting to think about sex.

Uh, sometimes I chew too much gum.

Uh, a dude farted in the elevator SOOOO LOUD the other day and tried to pretend that he didn’t. I started laughing yet he still wouldn’t admit it. I looked at him and he just kept staring ahead.

Uh, I wish I had enough money to eat salmon every day. You like salmon? It’s really good.



Uh, this picture of this car is really big. But I don't know how to fix it from flickr, 'cuz that would take some technical skill that I don't know. I'm soooo not a blog nerd. So I will leave it, but I'm not trying to say anything specific with making the picture so big.

Okay.


Well. That was fun. We should talk more regularly. Oh my god, totally!



Write back soon.


Elbow and Send