drug store

workout.
go buy lipgloss.
walk down card asile and see mother's day wishes.

just don't break down in save on.
just don't break down in save on.
just don't break down in save on.

i wanna remember what this feeling looks like so I stop taking people for granted.

not pretty.
my eyes are old.

elbow and send.

when will it get easier?

Comments

[golfwidow]

Not yet.

[Reggie]

I've been quietly reading for about four months now. Your writing is touching no matter what mood. Recently, you've made me evaluate and truly appreciate the relationships i have and realize what a gift they are.
Everyday, just keep going.

[Wil]

it's okay to break down.

in save on, or anywhere.

it's really, really okay.

[Scott Tabbey]

I know this is a quote from a movie but i'm sure its been said before. Its never going to be ok that she's gone. I know it will get easier though. As a side note i am again going through what you are dealing with. My grandfather who lives in Florida was diagnosed this week with liver cancer. It is terminal and so this will mark 2 grandparents i've lost or will lose to cancer. My thoughts and prayers go with you Annie.

[Roxanne]

I agree with Wil, let it out no matter where you are. The only thing that will make it bearable is time. Godspeed.

[claire]

Nothing that great to say, just, hang in there.

[Cherry Indigo]

*long hug*

[Eve]

It's the perfect place to have a breakdown. The tissues are, like, right there. You're allowed. You SHOULD.
Hugs to you.

[M. Douglas Wray]

It does come at ya at the damnest times.

Find a place out of the way and give in.

The ice will get thicker and easier to walk across.

Till then, the dunkings suck.

[Stu Mark]

It will get easier, but only when you choose to allow that to happen. Letting go of grief is a personal choice and we all choose our schedule. Don't hurry this choice, but don't ignore the reality of choosing either.

Know that you are truly loved, by many, many people. Trust that your choice, and all your other choices, will be respected and supported.

Also, I find that the chairs in the pharmacy waiting area are best for crying.

[Krissi Strahl]

My mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer just this past month. Thanks to you sharing your story, I had my first real break down since getting the news.

Goddess bless you for opening my eyes and heart, and bless Wil for pointing me to your blog.

Maybe on Mother’s Day we can cry for each other.

[tmcmillan]

it wont get easier for a while.... but it really will.
and it IS ok to break down at save on or wherever else.

[b-rob]

Anytime, any place....it is OK. XOXOXO

[Becky]

My heart goes out to you. I know this is a tough season you're in.

[Kara]

I lost my dad in an accident a little over a month ago. It has been the hardest, most bizarree experience of my entire life. I've been reading your blog since you lost the bet, and I had read the entry when you lost your mom, while crying and wondering how anyone can survive this. And now I know, first hand.

Knowing that we survive this, knowing that someone else is going through this pain and loss and is publicly talking about it makes it more bearable for me personally.

Keep it real. Keep it raw. It's the only thing that gets you through this.

Much love,

[s]

i lost my dad six years ago. cry in the save on. cry everywhere. stand in the backyard and scream at the top of your lungs. curl up in the tub and cry till you are a prune.

cry when you pick up the phone to tell her a funny story. rip the phone out of the wall and then cry when you go buy a new one.

the first year is the hardest. you will cry every single time it is the first time you ever do anything new without her. it's ok.

it only gets tolerable when you cry.

hugs,

sarah

[James]

I lost my father 3 weeks ago to a disease.
All I can say, is thank you.
Thank you for that powerful piece. Thank you for using the gift of writing that you have to say the things I can't. Thank you for giving me comfort in knowing it's ok to be sad because I'm not alone.
thanks.

[Cindy]

When my mother died of breast cancer three years ago nothing anyone said seemed to make much of a difference. Then I went to a memorial service at the hospital where she worked and found these words on the back of the service program. These words let me know that it was ok to feel the way I did, I keep them hanging on my fridge to remind me three years later it is still ok to feel this way. I hope these words help you some also.

"...nothing can make up for the absence of one whom we love, and it would be wrong to try to find a substitute; we must simply hold out and see it through. That sounds very hard at first, but at the same time it is a great consolation, for the gap, as long as it remains unfilled, preserves the bond between us. It is nonsense to say that God fills the gap; God does not fill it, but on the contrary, keeps it empty and helps us to keep alive our former communion with each other, even at the cost of pain." - Deitrich Bonhoeffer

[MJBUtah]

Buy the card and write it all down.
Pick the one you know she would love.
You have to let it come when it hits you, because you really don't want to let this back up on you.

Beleive me, those ladies at SavON have seen worse and most of them will cry right along with you. No one cries alone when I'm around.

Deep Breaths

Michelle

[Azriel]

my thoughts and well wishes are with you. this time of year is very hard. but it is a good time to laugh and cry and remember.

[Chris Kessel]

My dad died at 44. I was 26 at the time. He was my best friend. He was also my grandmother's best friend (his mom). He was just that kind of guy, easy to love.

11 years later, she has never recovered. She still cries most days apparently.

I've moved on. I miss him. I cry when I write things like this about him, but I have a life I want to live and I can't spend it in tears. He'll always be missed though.

[bryarly]

Buy a mother's day card. Just because you can't hand it to her, doesn't mean you give one to her. Think of it kind of like Santa Claus and the North Pole. My dad died when I was 17 (18 years ago) and I still cry about it sometimes. I promise it gets more manageable, even if it never gets easier. When I buried his ashes, I included a King Sized Reese's Peanut Butter Cups package (I figured 4 was far better than 2 since he'd be there a while), a card, and his favorite picture of me as a child.

Just because I couldn't hand it to him doesn't mean I couldn't give it to him.

[Blckbtch]

It doesn't get easy for a while. It does get easier over time. Lost dad 4 years ago. His B-day just passed, Father's Day coming up...It just gets easier. Losing a parent seriously sucks...just let yourself lose it whenever the need arises, but continue to live your life. Well...

[Robin Dahlberg]

It doesn't necessarily get easier, it just becomes...different.

My husband died very unexpectedly almost 6 years ago at 31. I had the shock factor working in my favor, but I kept hoping things would somehow feel "normal" again. They never did. I learned a new normal, and have had some amazing learning experiences in the process. I'm still learning.

It's the real-life alternate universe experience.

(also a reader from The Bet. Taking a photo of yourself at such a vulnerable moment and sharing it is truly a sign that you have the tools to make it through this process.)

[hot toddy]

Hey, remember me? One of your sketch comedy "students" from Exotic Actors Guild!

I saw Stef at a party the other night, and she told me about your blog. I am so glad you're writing!

I know things have been pretty rough, sweetheart, and I am sorry. BIG hugs from Portland.